Just Listen

Outline

Just Listen (2009) shows how to get through to people who seem resistant, defensive, or impossible to reach. Mark Goulston, a psychiatrist and trainer of negotiators, explains how stress pushes people into reactive thinking and offers practical techniques for calming emotions, making people feel understood, and moving conversations from resistance to agreement. The book is useful in business, leadership, sales, and family life.

• Stress pushes people into reactive thinking, which is why they can seem resistant, defensive, or impossible to reach.
• Calming a person's emotions comes first, before any attempt to persuade them or win the argument.
• People open up when they feel understood, and that feeling is what moves a conversation from resistance toward agreement.
• Goulston, a psychiatrist and trainer of negotiators, offers practical techniques for defusing conflict and building genuine trust.
• The same listening skills apply in business, leadership, sales, and family life.

Mark Goulston is an American psychiatrist, business consultant, and author who taught at the University of California, Los Angeles. He has trained police and FBI hostage negotiators and advised business leaders on communication. His books include Just Listen and Talking to Crazy.